“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.
The unknown is a fear many individuals have. Whether it is the future, a change of environment, or the afterlife. People (including myself) are scared of the unknown.
We have one life to live. Suppose we hold back and let fear stop us from taking that “leap of faith” in any particular situation or never ask that specific person to dance because of fear of embarrassment.
In that case, we risk not making memories/experiences. Worst case, we might miss out on life lessons and may have regrets down the road.
In my experience, adults are exceptionally good at sticking to their routines. They enjoy the comfort of knowing what’s coming next. Traditions are a huge comfort zone.
People feel in control when they expect what will happen. As soon as something derails that routine, fear steps in.
As a kid, I was curious about everything. That led me to some exciting places in my life thus far. To start this story off, I was born with Cerebral Palsy (CP).
For those who do not know what CP is, it is a spectrum of neurological problems that affect muscle tone, movement, and hand/eye coordination.
It happens when the brain can’t properly send messages to muscles about how to move in smooth or well-coordinated ways.
CP can also affect other body functions that involve motor skills and strengths, like breathing, bladder and bowel control, eating, and communicating.
Has this stopped me from stepping out of my comfort zone?
No, it has only fueled my passion for pushing my boundaries, overcoming the difficulties of fear, and embracing the unknown.
Age 11: I broke my left collarbone playing tag with my brother in the neighborhood and walked home with a dangling shoulder. “Not much you can do with a broken collar,” the doc says.
13: Biking with friends in the sugar cane fields, I hit a rut and flipped over the handlebars. The enormous bike came down right on my sternum. My buddies were a couple of hundred yards away and didn’t hear me calling for help because I was internally bleeding from my chest and had my breath knocked out of me; in turn, no way to call out, so I pounded the earth, waving my hands back and forth to get their attention.
After that incident and fully healthy, I immediately picked back up biking.
16: This injury is among the worst ones. I still feel it today and remember it like it happened yesterday. Well, Me being me and being a bit clumsy, I thought that climbing a fence instead of walking around the yard was a “smart” choice…wrong.
While on the very tippy top, My left foot got wedged between the two boards, and I lost my balance and fell right on my neck (C2). I do not remember much except getting up laughing, holding the back of my neck, then falling and screaming, “My body is on fire.”
The pain is unimaginable. It’s like dousing yourself with gasoline and lighting a match.
A year and a half later… I can take off the soft neck brace as soon as I do and take my first steps with the assistance of my mum. My body feels like it’s dissociating from my neck.
My body was broken, crying. “I will never be the same,” I told my family as I finally made my way to the hospital bed…After months of rehabilitation, my body becomes more robust than ever.
Years later, I started racing in Tough Mudders/Spartans climbing up heights that I thought I would never be able to do! I was not going to let fear immobilize me from accomplishing my goals.
26: February 2020. The day started fantastically; it was a beautiful warm sunny day in California. My friends and I decided to bike down to the pool. Within minutes all of that changed…
From my buddy’s reports (I do not remember to this day what happened), I was flying down the mountain, hit a speed bump, and the bike flipped. They said I face-planted and rolled. When they caught up to me, I was unconscious and bleeding from my temporal lobe above my left ear.
When I came around, it felt like I was in a haze; my head was throbbing, and my ears were ringing like there were sirens going off. A few houses down, the neighbor came outside; she heard the crash and immediately started crying because she had witnessed the blood. They all started asking me questions as I calmly held my shoulder.
I had no idea who they were or where I was, but oddly enough, I was relaxed. The doctors did X-rays of my shoulder/brain CT scan at the ER visit. The results were a rebroken left collar bone and a moderate concussion.
Afterward, my buddies and I stopped for an In-N-Out chocolate shake which ended with me driving myself home.
With all that, did it stop me from biking and letting fear seep in? No, not at all. I still love to bike, but now I am a much safer rider.
28: After years of wear and tear on the body. It has slowly started to catch up to me. I recently visited the ER for a sharp electric river of nerve pain down the neck and the shoulder. They ran various tests, and it turns out I have a couple of severe bulging disks in my neck (C5-7), a minor bulge on my C2, and finally, a cyst parallel to the C7 in the spine (not sure if it’s benign or cancerous TBA).
The feeling is horrendous and not much fun to deal with; think of it as hitting your funny bone, touching a hot stove, putting your hand on an electric fence, and being super sore after a tough workout/hard day at work where your body aches/throbs.
All those symptoms are in my neck, running down my shoulder into my fingers. If I am not careful, the neurosurgeons mentioned I would eventually have to have an anterior cervical discectomy and fusion surgery (ACDF), which is essentially to remove the disks and insert a graft to fuse the bones above and below the removed disks.
The blessing from this experience is that the wealth of information on recovery is incredible. With the help of others, I have learned about red light therapy, Ice baths, cupping (a form of treatment where an individual gets suction cups on their body to heal sore muscles and get rid of old blood), and a ton of other unique alternative medicine.
Why do I tell you all of these stories? I tell you that if I can overcome all these horrible injuries, not feel helpless for myself by letting fear be in control, and still do what I love while inspiring others along the way. Then I am enabling my passion for helping and encouraging others to do what they love.
What can one do to mitigate this experience?
1. Do something challenging
Dig deep, and embrace the fear, aka “embracing the suck.” Only then may you truly live life without fear. Stepping out of your comfort zone is scary but is also a wonderful experience.
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be a great way to challenge yourself and help you grow. It can be intimidating initially, but pushing yourself and trying something new is worth it.
It’s essential to allow yourself to explore different opportunities and take risks. Start small and gradually increase the difficulty level. Remember to stay positive and be proud of yourself for taking on a new challenge.
Not only do you learn to conquer your fear. It shows how strong-willed and determined you are to have your fear under control.
You will learn so much about yourself in the process that you never knew existed.
2. Take a solo trip
You will have to only rely on yourself. This will force you to pay attention to your surroundings, the culture, and the environment.
In the midst of that, you have time to do some genuine self-reflection and experience the joy of traveling by yourself.
3. Volunteer
By volunteering your time to an organization of your choosing. You are already in the proper direction toward conquering your fears.
It shows that you are willing to do something new and gets you out of your comfort zone by managing various tasks you may have never experienced.
Everyone has a fear and threshold for stepping out of their comfort zone. Once you embrace “being comfortable being uncomfortable,” you may truly live life and be open to new experiences and stories.
Life is just a novel of stories. Everybody has a story. You just have to flip to the next chapter. Your story is still ongoing.
As always, do what you love, and do it often! Till the next adventure…
About
Caleb Young graduated from California State University, Northridge, with a BA in Psychology, envisioning becoming a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) working with active duty military/families/veterans. Caleb has volunteered with various mental health nonprofits, including You Matter Not Alone, Working Dogs For Warriors, and Heroes Project. He enjoys reading/writing, Jiu-Jitsu, and exploring the great outdoors. Follow Caleb on Instagram or Facebook.